NFL Week 5 Recap: We don’t deserve the NFL

Week 5 recap. Can we please fire Jason Garrett and Bill O’Brien?

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Giants 31 – Panthers 33

New York Giants v Carolina Panthers

What a game.  I can’t imagine being a Giants fan right now, I really can’t.  Yesterday’s game was an all-time kick in the balls.  Buzzer beater from 63 yards out.  They’re 1-4 and things don’t look like they’re going to get better anytime soon.  But guess what?  That wasn’t the only thing that kicked the Giants in the balls this weekend.  You guessed it!  It finally happened.  It only took ODB (way cooler nickname than OBJ) five weeks to throw his “I need a new QB” fit.  Who didn’t see this coming from the biggest diva in the NFL?  It was a ticking time bomb – tick tick tick tick (Chris Berman Voice).


The best part about yesterday’s game?  Odell throwing a touchdown pass to Saquon – the longest passing touchdown this year for the Giants.  Can the Giants put Odell at QB?  Maybe just run the read option with him and Saquon every play?  Maybe Odell can throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time (according to Gielse, Tom Brady can’t do it)?  Seriously, what are the Giants going to do?  I’m actually starting to feel bad for Giants fans.  But at least they have Saquon and Odell for the next five years!!!!  That’s exciting!  I’m happy for Giants fans.

Live look at Odell at practice this week:

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Ravens 9 – Browns 12 by Killian Pender

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The Good: This game shows that Higgins can be a factor, thought the loss of Gordon would be back breaking but it seems as though we have something in Higgins (hopefully the injury is not huge). Hyde keeps trucking along and leading potentially the best running back room in the league. Baker is fearless, no matter the outcome he’s gonna slang that thang. Defense is exactly who we thought they were, great. Ward looks like the DROY through 5 weeks and can’t tackle anything, he just makes plays (third INT of the season, and a blocked FG). Peppers has terrible ball skills, but that guy was HITTING. WIN.

The Bad: Drops, drops, drops; drops continue to be an issue for the team. Baltimore has a good defense and I knew we couldn’t score a ton of points but the drops are killing us. Landry not going out of bounds at the end of regulation. If he goes out there, we don’t spike it and we have another play to get closer for our kicker that did not even make 70% of his kicks in college. The special teams remains to be the worst aspect of the team.

The Ugly: Lombardi said on “The NFL Show” that the Browns are a 50 minute team, and it shows week after week. Our clock management at the end of each game has been an issue that led to two losses. Hue didn’t even know the game was over after the kick. We are gonna trip over our own feet. Damn.

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I do believe we can win the division, pound on.

Rams 33 – Seahawks 31


That was a good win for the Rams.  Division road game are always tough and they pulled it off without Cooks and Kupp in the second half.  Did anyone actually think the Rams were going to lose that game though?  This Rams team has a 2000s Lakers team feel to it.  You expect them to win these games now.  I was never worried or nervous.  Seattle wasn’t going to beat the Rams in a shootout.  The Rams can’t stop the run and that’s the only thing that worries me right now.  I’m not sure why teams continue to try and keep up with the Rams.  Run the ball, work the clock, and keep the offense off the field.  You’re not going to outscore the Rams this year.

Was anyone surprised McVay went for it on 4th and 1 to ice the game?  That’s what good coaches do (more on this later).  He pulled his balls out and said, “I have the best offense in the league.  Try to stop us.”  Love it.  Jared Goff showing that emotion after the first down?  FUCKIN LOVE IT.  IS THAT TOM BRADY?!?!?

There was honestly was never a doubt.  Remember the “too many different personalities in the locker room” talk before the season?  That was cute.

But Marcus Peters.  What the fuck my dude?  He’s been burned for a touchdown every game.  It is cause he’s hurt?  Maybe.  Or is he getting burned trying to make a big play for the defense?  Probably.  It pisses me off but you know what, I’m OK with it.  He has that privilege because of the offense.  Peters will give up touchdowns/big plays this year but I’m calling it right now – he’s going to make a HUGE play in the playoffs this year.  A game winning/clinching pick 6.  I also love watching Peters try and rip the ball out of the ball carrier’s arms.  It’s so much fun to watch and scream, “BALL BALL BALL!!!!”

TOUGH game next week vs the Broncos at Denver.  Back to back road games and possibly no Cooks and Kupp.  The Rams are going to need some players to make some plays (PETERS PICK 6 NEXT WEEK).

Cowboys 16 – Texans 19 (OT)


What a game.  I’m so glad that game was on prime-time for us to see.  I cannot believe I stayed up and watched this entire “football” game but I’m glad I did.  That game was awful.  I never said, “wtf are they doing” so many times in my life.  Chris Collinsworth did everything he could do to make the game sound exciting.  My personal favorite was, “I’m glad these teams only play once every four years cause they’re doing everything they can to kill each other out there.”  Hey Colin, guess what?   I’m also glad they only play once every four years because I can’t watch those two teams play every year.

Bill O’Brein is my new favorite coach (sorry Hue Jackson).  What the hell was he doing that game?  Was he drunk?  Is every Texans game like that?  Because if it is I need to get league pass to watch the Texans every week.  Here’s my BOB rant:  Deshuan Waston was clearly hurt that game.  They had their team doctors check on him after every series.  But guess what??  BOB didn’t think so!  Hey Deshaun are you hurt?  Ok pefect!  Let’s call a QB sweep to the left where you’ll get crushed by a Jaylon Smith.  I know you’re our franchise QB but my job is on the line.  I don’t care if you get hurt this game!  His play calls from the one yard line were amazing.  I mean not once but TWICE.

1st series:  10-6 HOU with 10 seconds left in the half.   4th and goal from the half yard line.  Hmmm let’s play a game called, “You’re a NFL coach, what would you do?”

A) You just take the points. Kick it and go up 7.  Plus you get the ball to start the second half

B) QB Sneak (you obviously don’t care about Watson)

C) Goal line formation and just smash it in there. I don’t care with who.  Put fuckin JJ Watt back there as your lead FB and just fuckin run it down their throat.  Or just hand the ball off to JJ Watt

D) Go shotgun with Watson and take a sack

DING DING DING!  You win as long as you didn’t choose Answer D!  Guess what BOB did?  D!!! Shotgun from the HALF yard line.  Watson rolled out and got destroyed by Jaylon Smith.  Ok, fine maybe I’m being harsh on BOB.  Let’s take a look at the second series.  There’s no way he can mess this up again, right?  WRONG.

2nd series:  13-13 with 10 minutes left in the game.  Ball at the Dallas ONE yard line.  Here’s a breakdown:


Alfred Blue is 230 pounds.  Give him the ball four straight times.  I don’t give a fuck if they have 100 people and 10000000 Whataburgers stacked up in the box.  If your team can’t get you one yard and into the end zone in a 13-13 game, I am sorry.

That’s a decision a 13 year old can make on Madden.  Can someone get the Texans an “Ask Madden” app?  An app that calls a random 12 year old Texans fan for a playcall.  I can’t believe I’m this upset about the Texans.

And then there’s Jason Garrett.  What the FUCK are you doing punting on 4th and 1 on the Texans 42 yard line in overtime?!?!?!?  What the FUCK are you trying to do?!?!?  By punting it you’re essentially saying, “let’s kick the ball to them and play for a tie.”  Right?!?!  There’s no other fuckin reason to punt the ball in that situation.  You claim to have the best offensive line in the NFL, you drafted Zeke Elliot with the fourth pick in the draft, and you’re 2-2.  You win this game and you’re in first place of the division!  What are you doing punting the ball in that situation?!?!  You’re on their 42 fuckin yard line!!!!  You think your team is going to be upset that you went for it on 4th and 1 on the Texans 42?  You think they’re going to be upset that you went for the win?!?!?!?  This stuff is just mind blowing.

The Texans and Cowboys need to fire their coach on the same day this week.  Let’s make it a Texas Holiday – give everyone in Texas the day off.  They deserve it.

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